A blank slate

It is to LAFF!

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 10:51:29 GMT

It is to cry in all honesty. Wow, my newbauchery has reached an all time high it seems. Or is it luck/fate/some other reasoning I can place the blame on and hope it doesn't fall on me? Either way, the cosmic humor of the situation can't help but be laughed at if only I weren't the butt of the joke.

Way back last year I reapplied to go back to University, since it's the dream of every responsible adult to get an education and contribute to society... or so I've been told. I hadn't heard from them for awhile, since well, it was understandable that they need to think on my application since I'm a previous drop-out.

I moved soon after for a different higher paying job. What I didn't know was that soon after I'd left, they'd sent a response back to my 'old' address... declaring that I could go back to school. I finally got this letter back since the old land lord passed it on to a friend of mine who passed it on to me. It's only 6 month's late, so I guess that's ok.

Off I go to reapply again... hoping they don't throw my app out the window like a waste of paper.

Xero

Loss..

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 05:22:35 GMT

I lost a brother Yesterday morning.

He wasn't my brother by blood.. but blood never meant anything when it came to who I called my brother or my sister. If you were someone I could feel close to and comfortable, you were akin to a sibling to me.

So now I and the rest of the family are left with only the question that remains in the face of picking up the pieces. Why? Why did this happen? So many things carried in that one question that it hurts to think on it. You feel like an asshole when you try to not dwell on it, as it feels like a form of escapism and that you're betraying what we'd shared. And yet the only other real option is to let the pain press down on you until it feels like it'll tear you apart.

I'm in emotional numbness right now, slowly letting the reality of the situation hit me. And it hurts.. good lord it hurts... I'll try and keep this updated during the week. Lord knows im bad at that, but I'll try.

I love you Diana..

Marc

In which i can't do anything right.

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 07:03:04 GMT

Cuts, bruises, injuries. I've always been able to deal with these things with a stoic silence and simply grin and bear it... even continuing to play sports with them stupidly. but give me something like a blister, a rash, or anything else along those lines. and i turn into a big sissy... being driven mad by the constant and infuriating reminder that this aggravation exists.. the pinpricks of fire travelling through my hands despite my attempts to ward them off.

so now im caught in a quandry. i like being employed.. i like being paid.. but do i consider it worthwhile if by doing so.. i must relegate my hands to gaining crocodile skin and hardened leather in order to endure the constant untouchable heat ever present in my workplace? I think this is probably another instance of me becoming bored with a job once i've learned all the core fundamentals of the position, where the only challenge is in learning the routine even faster every day much akin to Principal Skinner's basketball challenge.

I was told the other day that i looked really stressed during work. maybe i was. since i was the sole person in the kitchen, having to deal with the 40 things that piled up somehow without me noticing. maybe i was simply waiting to hear another blithe remark on how i fucked up, or how i was still inadequate. if it had been the latter, i'm 99.99% positive that i would have simply and calmly... blown up on the person and sent em away crying.

so now i got work tomorrow.. and i have to figure out how to get to the bank to pay rent since the damned scotiabank was closed today. i guess thats the problem with having learned to ride the flows of time. no wave can stay at an apex for too long, sooner or later its gonna crash. now i have to learn a new skill to go along with riding these waves.. i need to learn how to brace for impact... maybe even tuck and roll. ^_~

after all, what can I say.

I learn quickly.

I'm a man of few words, sooo.. if you've read this far i only have one more thing to say to my friends and family.

Live, love, laugh. for laughter is the music of the soul, love makes things worthwhile, and life is precious in all its entirety... except for those stinking allie's in WoW... FOR THE HORDE!!!

Marc~

Once upon a time in little Canada.

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:50:51 GMT

Life is good.

I don't write nearly enough of these instances of my life in my LJ, about the parts of my life where things are rolling with a flow. I dunno why.. maybe Diana is right and my heart is full of haeterade and i just don't realize it. =P

but the point of this little blurb is that things are going really well now. I had no clue Prince George would be able to do so much good for me in terms of tension release.. which is so damned weird in that after i get back from playing sports or work my body is tense from strain. but thats another story.

its the lack of emotional tension that my family was always so willing to hand to me. its the fact that i'm able to simply try and see me for me again. Something I'd been able to do for quite awhile since I've been forced to help my family with their problems and seeing their faults for so long i'd not looked at myself. fuck-ups and all.

and weird as it is. It feels good to see myself as only human sometimes. to not feel as if i need to live by impossible expectations simply because my family expects them of me. By family, i actually mean the extended family of aunties and uncles. my mom's one of those people where she'd be proud of me in whatever i do, as long as i was happy doing it.

I'm rambling i know, but its hard to stay on topic when you don't really have a focus point in a blurb. So i'm really just writing for the sake of writing. Cuz thats partially what this Lj is for, to let the people who actually read it know about whats what in me life. So even if you dont see me as often online, I just want ya'll to know that things are good.

Although Myles, if you could tell me how you deal with steam burns that'd be awesome. >.>

so off i go into the world. the newest cook at the C.H. KFC.

Diana: I love you sweety.

For wanting to wish of a happy birfday.

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 11:25:40 GMT

I am 45% Internet Addict.

I could go either way. Deep into the madness of nights filled with coding CGI-Scripts and online role playing games, or I could become a normal user. Good luck!

Take the
Internet Addict Test
@ FualiDotCom

:: how nintendo are you? ::

I am 53% Video Game Addict.

Video games are a big portion of my life, maybe too big of a portion. They are not a means of social interaction, despite what I might think. I should just go outside.

Take the
Video Game Addict Test
@ FualiDotCom

I am 18% Idiot.

I am not annoying at all. In fact most people come to me for advice. Of course they annoy the hell out of me. But what can I do? I am smarter than most people.

Take the
Idiot Test
@ FualiDotCom

I am 18% Geek.

I wanna be a geek. But I'm not. Why would I even want to be one. Do I think it's fun? I should try writting an online test application at 1 am in my underwear

Take the
Geek Test
@ FualiDotCom

and for everyone whos made it to the bottom of this chain of meme's.. join hands like the buncha hippies you are and wish kunoichiisninja a happy birthday!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.................

who i am apparently..

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 04:14:09 GMT

The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm)

Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

Your exact opposite:
The Hornivore

Random Brutal Sex Master

While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe

CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating

Happy Birthday Update-age...

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 00:17:53 GMT

K.. so on commandment from Diana.. I find myself updating my lj on my birthday.. mostly because ive been so slack about updating it at all that its been a few months. SO here I am, another year older, hard to believe its been roughly a year since the midnight cake attack of 2006.

Trevor, if you ever read this.. you'll be saddened to learn that my alcohol tolerance hasn't gone up one iota since we left. It still borders just a little above that level stephie was at on New Years... you remember right?

Soo... I'm overall still a little bummed out because the weekend plans were totally shot. I'd originally wanted to go to Prince George, see my friends on my birthday, and just chill and go out there. But no... cuz my sister was retarded and couldn't make any calls herself or make a decision, a doctors appointment was made for my birthday... *sigh* so yeah.. a little bummed by that.

Oh well.. here's hoping i get the Support Worker position. Wish me luck people.

Marc

PS: I love you Diana you incurable geek. <3333 and all my friends out there, you make me almost forget how much I haet my birthday.

Koko no Fail

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 04:26:33 GMT

1. Comment with your name and I'll say something about you.
2. I'll tell you which singer / anime / game reminds me of you.
3. I'll tell you something we have in common.
4. I'll tell you something I envy from you.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
7. If I fill this for you, you must meme too.

5 sngs... or more.. wattever

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 17:46:53 GMT

wee, tagged~ =P

List five songs that you currently love. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog. Then tag five other Livejournal friends to see what they're listening to.

Thus, in no particular order:

1) Fallout - 16Stitch / The man who sold the world - Nirvana
Every once in awhile you come across that piece of media that just kinda changes your perspective of the world around you, makes you stop and look a little closer at the small things that make you the person you are today. The movies that did that to me were the two choice pieces of Fight Club, and Equilibrium. These two songs gave me that same piece of minute perspective. They didn't blow the foundations of my world, but every time I listen to them I can't help but think, and once on awhile I'll feel my chest tighten simply because of how the music itself resonates with me. its eerie, but there you go.

2) Like the Angel / Heaven Knows / Life less Frightening - Rise Against
yeah.. there are three here, but when I get into a mood for Rise Against I don't just listen to one of their songs.. what can I say about these here, they get me pumped no matter what Im doing, even if its just bucking up and piling firewood.

3) A sorta fairytale (101 mix) - Tori Amos
Whoa.. a tori amos song? on my list? watttt? yeah i know right? I dunno.. the almost sad, almost melancholy beat of the song is very chill, lets me just relax at the end of the day and sort through and filter all the junk.

4) Pray - Tommy Heavenly6, Brand New Day - Mizuhashi Mai, Easy Living - Infinite Ryvius, Come - Namie Amuro
what are you? the song count gestapo? back off already.. These three songs are some of my favorite JPoppy type songs, the fact that they've survived beyond a few months is something I didn't think possible with Jpop songs. Come by Namie Amuro is definately a shocker, its one of the last endings of the Inuyasha Anime which has been canceled for at least a year now. How it still sticks in my head probably has to do with the haunting tones of the song itself and how its very trance.

5) I write sins not tragedies / The only difference between martyrdom and suicide is press coverage / Camisado - Panic! at the disco.
I hate this band for their freakishly long names, but man can they get me tapping my feet. Like the same above, I just set my mp3 player to PatD mode whenever i'm in the mode and just kinda flow with the tunes.

aaaand... i tag the following people, Diana gets off free cuz she originally posted this:

whatchu think?

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 19:06:53 GMT

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	40%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	73%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	40%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

*edit*
K... so Ive just discovered that all I have are pretty little bars and a few choice words in that big chunk of stuff up there... no explanitories.

Stability: Mod High
Organization: Mod Low
??????? : Mod Low

what does that mean you say? Eh.. figure it out yourself by taking the exam. if you get the same score, great, you know the exact answers.. if not, you can simply infer them from your own. win win.

And therein lies the question...

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 11:01:36 GMT

So here's my first update in the time frame of... almost 2 months I think.

Despite such a massive frame of time seeming to fly by without me even realizing, I don't really have any amusing anecdotes or delightful yarns to spin for sheer amazement. What I do have are simply questions that kinda resound in my mind now that its officially been over a year since I left for Katimavik. The first of which being. how long?

How long before I become a simple memory to the people in the program who I became really attached to? How long before I become ol whatsisface and just a small detail in one of the stories that are told regarding some of our more insane and random hyjinx? I dunno, it feels like that time has already come and gone, and everyone has moved beyond the stage of remembrance and put me and the rest inside a heart-shaped box waiting to be opened at a later date. Blargh. I need to move on as well I guess.

You can't help but question stuff that happens while in Limbo. From death, to just general happenstance. Saturday, the day before thanksgiving. My auntie Anne died while she was visiting her boys in Victoria. The news came from nowhere and just fell into my lap. I felt dazed, a bit confused, but more than anything else, I just felt really tired. I loved her, she was one of my favorite people to randomly run into because she was always so nice no matter what was going on around her. So when I found out, well, I couldn't cry, I couldn't even find the energy to force myself through the day. So I went back to bed and slept until the day was gone. Pathetic avoidance yes. But if thats how my day was going to start, I wanted nothing to do with what happened next.

Thanksgiving was great, what could be wrong about having 3-4 families to share the festivities with over the extended weekend. although there was one sad point in the proceedings. The Olson's, my extended family, don't have enough people home to even have their own dinner anymore, so they went and joined the Wesley's for their's. A nice convenient thing yes. But the Olson family dinner was always one of my favorite parts of Turkey Day. I dunno, I guess I'm over-analyzing things and just being generally emo right now. And as cliche and over contrived as it sounds, I fucking hate feeling like this.

NINE!! .. wait.. NEIN!!

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 01:40:07 GMT

I refuse to put copy the meme that the entire RP is using.. I want no part of it..

...

...

ok ok ok...

+WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I...+
I committed suicide:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I lived next door to you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got into a fight and you weren't there:

+WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY...+
Personality:
Eyes:
Hair:
Family:

+WOULD YOU...+
Be my friend?:
Keep a secret if I told you one?:
Hold my hand?:
Take a bullet for me?:
Keep in touch?:
Try and solve my problems?:
Love me?:
Date me?:

+HAVE YOU EVER...+
Lied to make me feel better?:
Wanted to kiss me?:
Wanted to kill me?:
Broke my heart?:
Kept something important from me?:
Thought I was unbearably annoying?:

+AND MORE...+
1. Who are you?:
2. Are we friends?:
3. When and how did we meet?:
6. Describe me in one word.:
7. What was your first impression?:
8. Do you still think that way about me now?:
9. What reminds you of me?:
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?:
11. How well do you know me?:
12. When's the last time you saw me?:
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?:
14. Are you gonna paste this to your journal see what I say about you?:

and as for everyone else.. I'll see if I can do something for yours ^^;;;

stuff and stuff

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 20:17:05 GMT

so yeah.. wow.. its been awhile my poor little lj. such feelings of neglect you must have. but here i am with an update most small. I've been in Vancouver for almost 3 weeks now, just chilling out and enjoying my 3 weeks off before I have to head back home and begin the truly arduos part of tree planting that I hate. 5 oclock wake ups

nothing I hate more than early morning wakeups.. makes me wonder how the hell I was functioning in Katimavik when I was going to bed at 3-4, then waking up at 7-8. Its no wonder I had borderling narcolepsy on some days. but anyhow, yeah. things? good. time with diana? good. arepee durama? Not so much. but hey, hopefully it'll all smooth over.

You scored as II - The High Priestess. The High Priestess is a card of intuition, instinct and hidden knowledge. She knows all your secrets, you can hide nothing from her. Yet you will never know the secrets she herself protects.If well aspected in a Tarot spread, this card can indicate the use of intuition to solve problems; trust to your instincts. If badly aspected, it can mean suppression and ignoring of such instincts - following your head at the expense of your heart.

</td>

I - Magician

75%

II - The High Priestess

75%

VIII - Strength

63%

XVI: The Tower

63%

VI: The Lovers

63%

XI: Justice

56%

XIII: Death

56%

IV - The Emperor

50%

XIX: The Sun

50%

XV: The Devil

50%

0 - The Fool

44%

III - The Empress

44%

X - Wheel of Fortune

25%

Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 10:34:55 GMT

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

× I miss somebody right now. (cuz... obvious reasons..)	✓ I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	✓ I love to play video games.	✓ I've tried marijuana. (.... yes.. i am a sceevy stoner for having tried it.. getovah it..)
✓ I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
× I curse sometimes. (more like 'too much')	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (Katima will do that to you)	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

× I have broken someone's bones.	× I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times.	× I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	✓ I need/want money right now.
✓ I love sushi.	✓ I talk really, really fast.	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
× I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling. (4)
✓ I was born in a country outside of the U.S. (Canada biatch)	× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
✓ I like the way that I look.	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
× I have a lot of mood swings.	× I think prostitution should be legalized.	× I slept with a roommate.
× I have a hidden talent.	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends.
× I have pecked someone of the same sex.	× I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
× I love to shop and/or window shop.	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
× I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before.
✓ I currently like/love someone.	✓ I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	× I want to have children in the future.
✓ I have changed a diaper before.	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	✓ I'm not allergic to anything.
× I have a lot to learn.	✓ I am shy around the opposite sex.	× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
✓ I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I enjoy some country music.
✓ I would die for my best friends.	× I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	✓ I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys.	✓ Democrat.	× Republican.
× I don't even know what I am.	✓ I am punk rockish.	× I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
× I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	× I can work on a car.
× I love my job(s).	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
× I walk barefoot wherever I can.	✓ I have jumped off a bridge.	× I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	× I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
✓ I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.	× I have thrown up from crying too much.	× I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
× I fall for the worst people.	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	× I can pick up things with my toes.	× I can't whistle.
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse.	× I still have every journal I've ever written in.	× I talk in my sleep.
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	× I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
× I have a tattoo.	× I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	× I am a caffeine junkie.
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	× I'm an artist.	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	× I have terrible teeth.
× I hate my toes.	✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	✓ I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	× I love hugs more than kisses.
× I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	× I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	✓ I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
× I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	× I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	× I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
× I have played strip poker with someone else before.	× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	✓ I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
× I can't stand being alone.	× I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I'm a judgmental asshole.	× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
× I am a Libertarian.	× I can speak more than one language.	✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
✓ I would rather read than watch TV.	× I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
× I have no piercings.	× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it. (didn't cry.. but questioned it..)	× I like most animals better than most people.
× I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	× I have hit someone with a dead fish.
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	× I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	× I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me.	× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.	× I don't like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	× I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	× I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	× I have a custom-built computer.	× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	× I've performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.	× I'm Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	✓ Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
× I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	× I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
× I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	× I say random things to freak people out.
✓ I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	× I love playing Truth or Dare.	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
× Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love.	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 15:13:39 GMT

Hmmm... Man I've been so out of it these past few days. Maybe even few weeks. So much crap going on that its kinda hard to draw a line between whats what.

THe first bit of news I got was from home.. just like all of the bad news I receieve. One of my good friends had committed suicide. Seems a lot of stuff had been piling up in a short amount of time before it was just too much. I'd only just found out because my family wasn't sure if they should tell me or not.

The Second bit involves my sister, who's been in the hospital doing blood work testing to see if she's got a disorder that would start to fuse her spinal column together. She's barely older than I am... I hope that its not the case...

Third bit was a piece of good news. A friend was diagnosed with cancer... but they discovered it at such an early stage they were able to remove it with minimal trouble. ... yeah... thats good news.

Fourth. The program is finishing up, and my patience with peoples tendancys to play the asshole is wearing thin. To the point where Im starting to instigate these fuckers into tryin to argue with me. What the hell is wrong with me? I used to be able to just brush this goddamned crap off my shoulder with a laugh. Now it feels like pins and needles everytime 'soandso' fucking cracks wise, or 'whatsername' fucking butts into my conversation.

anyhow. thats the short newsflash. see ya guys soon before I start ranting up a storm.

New Brunswick Excursion...

Wed, 24 May 2006 00:53:30 GMT

Well well well.. another excursion ended.. and oddly enough, I'm not chewing nails.. it had even been enjoyable.

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These are just a few of the pics taken during the festivities, ranging from seeing the beautiful tides of Fundy, to the sheer cliffs of Point Enrage.. As opposed to the social learning from the excursion in Woodstock, this excursion was focused mainly on environmental scenery.

Our first day back was kinda chill, we toured the house and got used to the fact that we'll never have privacy again for another month. Then we left the next day and drove drove drove until we got to Hudson Oddities. Only getting lost twice in the process. Mapquests fault apparently.. So we got to the place and did some beachglass workshop, then went to see a soaperie to learn about the evils of the big bad soap companies. Did you know that... nah, its too gross to tell here. ^_~ We then we drove for another long ass while to see the Bay of Fundy. Then it was to the church... where I got the gift of Wireless Internet from the Good Church..

The next day was even more driving if you'd believe it.. we saw some beautiful scenery on the way to Pt Enrage, and when we arrived we were greeted by the sight of even more beautiful scenery. Then it was the drive to St John.. which is so fucking Bleh that it outta be the new name.. 'Welcome to New Bleh... Enjoy your stay.' We went to the New Brunswick Museum, I got an Ice Cap, which was so damned good Im convinced there's heroin in it. We then supposedly had free time, half of which was down the drain as we comically tried to find our way to a shopping centre of sorts. After realizing that I hadnt the money to buy the ext. DVD Burner I wanted, I went back to the van with my tail between my legs... I'm getting pissed at the whole situation, by the time I get the fucking burner I'll be heading home dammit.. So yeah, we went to the church next, where we then got ready for our movie night out. We went to the Davinci Code, which surprisingly enough I enjoyed. Not the greatest story ever told, but it do its job and make me think. After this lovely piece of film, we went back to the new Church where we watched Monty Python's Search for the holy Grail.. fitting I thought.

The next day we made our way to the Fundy Trail... which was like any other trail through the woods.. complete with complaining females who were out of shape.. I love Katimavik.. We got to the suspension bridge, took a few pics, found this tool in the water that looked like a piece of a UFO, then quickly turned around and went back to the van. We had 2 hours to get to Hopewell rock if we wanted to catch the lowest tide.. otherwise how would we possibly compare the differences in the tides? ONce that was over and done with, was the long long long long drive home. ... and now Im back to zero.. and the daily gring until I can one day find myself at home, with the one I wanna see most.

So Lata for now, peace love and all that jazz..

insert interesting name here

Fri, 05 May 2006 04:54:49 GMT

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?

Scar going over my left eye, caused by a fall down some stairs and smacking into the base of our fireplace.. any deeper and I probably would have lost my eye.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?

not much atm.. a name tag/sticker thing.. a pumpkin.. my bathrobe..

3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?

i'm not cool enough for a celly

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?

pretty much everything, lesser presence of Rap and Country and Metal

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?

umm.. early morning..

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?

.... *chalks it up to the obvious*

.... and no.. its not pie..

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?

*that makes two for 'obvious'*

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESION?

hmm.. prized possession? I dunno. I have treasured.. but Im not sure about prized..

9. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?

Brown

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?

not really

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?

the mind creates darker things than could ever reside in the shadows.. probably a reflection of my mind.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?

... its been awhile since I cried.. probably my grandma's funeral..

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?

umm.. it all depends on the situation.. >.>

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE MOST?

... this is so waffely.. but it all depends.. but I've come to really appreciate red hair.

15. WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TEN YEARS?

oh jeez.. this is tough.. since they lied to me about going to other star systems.. I guess back in beautiful BC..

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?

Ice Cap

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?

Meatza Stuffage

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

grandpa burger.. its so unhealthy I love it

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?

probably someone in the group.. >.<

20. WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR FAVORITE AGE?

hmmm... gonna have to say that 21-22 has been really good to me. its had its low points sure, but it looks good.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?

thats simple... life...

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?

>.> *obvious: III*

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?

nope

25. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?

Hover Car ftw

26. HOW BORING IS THIS QUIZ?

its long yes.. boring? no...

27. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?

love can't really be chosen, it happens as naturally as the sun rising and setting... [/cheesy sayings].

28. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?

according to elementary school logic.. you pull there hair and call them names.. *nods*

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:

101

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?

>.> Red heads.

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?

this is gonna sound so wrong.. but I call Diana more than my family.. ^^;;

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?

the groups damned silence..

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?

>.>

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?

im invincible mofo... and besides.. super villains should never reveal their weaknesses..

36. FIRST JOB?

working at the drop in center.

37. FIRST KISS?

all the way back in the year of 2001..

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?

not so much a prank call..

39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS?

getting sucked into the shiney damned chats

40. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE?

The moon..

41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?

cuz.. the voices told me to

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?

my humor probably

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?

become the Beer Baron and profit from it

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?

>.> *Obvious: IV*

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?

... as many as I can eat.. >=3

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

named after my Dad..

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?

depends on how badly I want it.

48. WHAT DID YOU DO THIS MORNING?

cursed the morning..

49. WHAT DID YOU LAST EAT?

Pork Chops

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

kinda.. people say its neat.. but its all big and ugleh

51. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN ANYTHING?

peoples souls..

52. ANY BAD HABITS?

plenty... will I list them? hell nah..

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?

Lou Bega and his Mambo #5 stuff

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

if I'm myself? well yeah.. I actually have a clone in the Australia area..

55. HAVE YOU EVER RAN A RED LIGHT?

umm.. no

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?

*shrugs* not really.. personality is more important.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?

venting.. lots and lots of venting..

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?

Prince George

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?

I can be really trusting.. or I can be super suspicious..

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?

>.> GI Joes

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?

NA

62. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU WAKE UP?

'I hate you morning...'

63.WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO RIGHT NOW?

myself..

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?

quite a few times... though they can be tricky to start at Church..

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?

funny/smart/sensitive *agrees*

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?

Xero, Ghost... and the others are for friends to see..

67. WHAT IS YOUR BED-TIME?

2-3... I really should stop that though

68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

nah

69. WHAT KIND OF COMPUTER DO YOU HAVE?

Seanix

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?

Blueberry

71. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Thor, my Akita/Wolf back home.. going on 13 years now. ^^

72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS?

Blue, Green, Red, Black

73. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?

*Obvious: V*

74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?

Two... thats where all my smarts went.. oo!!

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?

*uses the force to compel them all to do it*

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?

kissing a fool - Michael Buble

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?

Orange Juice

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

*obvious: VI*

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?

*obvious: VII*

80. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?

beurocracy.. and my lack of spelling skillz

81. FAVORITE DRINK(S)?

hot chocolate, iced tea, Ameretto n' coke, Ice Cap, Orange juice.

82. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN:

dunno really..

83. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?

Soccer these days..

84. WHAT IS YOUR NATURAL HAIR COLOR?

Darkish Brown

85. WHAT COLOR IS IT NOW?

... Brown

86. HEIGHT??

6'1

87. SIBLINGS?

Older Sister, Younger Brother, and Two Younger Sisters

88. MONTH?

late July-ish

89. YOU LIKE SUSHI?

yeah.

90. LAST THING YOU WATCHED ON TV?

jeez.. the olympics?

91. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?

thanksgiving probably

92. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?

usually...

93. SUMMER OR WINTER?

summer

94. KISSES OR HUGS?

... only one? I thought they go hand in hand?

95. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?

Vanilla.. its so versatile

96. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?

shades

97. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?

kyle..

98. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?

The Wheel of Time: The Knife of Dreams

99. IN GENERAL, ARE YOU HAPPY?

yes.. but I still can't wait.. ^^

meme's and stuffage.. damned addicting stuff..

Fri, 05 May 2006 00:14:57 GMT

Leave a comment and I'll dig through my image folders and post the image that either most reminds me of you, or seems appropriate.

and

Using the Candybar Doll Maker http://elouai.com/doll-makers/new-dollmaker.php , make a doll of me from what you remember of my looks, (or how YOU picture me), and post it here in the comments. Once you've posted here, ask the same in your own journal and see what your friends think you look like!!!

maple syrup ftw!! Freedom Toast ftl!!

Sat, 29 Apr 2006 15:56:18 GMT

So yeah.. turns out that BF has been gradually turning me towards the love of other man'whores.. PAndy.. I'm looking at you dammit.. its all you sexy bitches in the chats who are to blame.. >.<;;

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 1.43

Heterosexual

Bisexual

Homosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz